In their book, Connecting: the Mentoring Relationships You Need in Your Life, Stanley and Clinton uncovered the following, “Research on mid-career, contemporary leaders led them to this conclusion – other individuals helped most of these men and women in timely situations along the way.  Their relationship to another person significantly enhanced their development.  Most case studies listed three to ten significant people who helped shape their lives.”

Stanley and Clinton define mentoring as “a relational process in which a mentor, who knows or has experienced something, transfers that something (resources of wisdom, information, experience, confidence, insight, relationships, status, etc.) to a mentoree, at an appropriate time and manner, so that it facilitates development or empowerment.”

Over the years, I have felt, and have heard many others make the same claim, that I wish I had access to a great mentor.  Since my father passed away when I was in my 20’s, I’ve often felt I was carrying my machete in the jungle by myself.  Let’s face it; those of us in leadership roles are thirsty for a mentor.

I have heard it said that every leader needs a coach or mentor.  We need access to those that have gone before us and can give us some direction and perspective…and accountability.  Here are a few of the significant people that have shaped my life:

·     Coach Bagley:  My grade school coach for football, basketball and track.  He was kind of like Vince Lombardi.  He taught me about winning as a team.  He was very tough, but we won a lot of games!  On one occasion, as the team’s quarterback, I ran an option play towards the right side.  I was supposed to pitch the ball to the halfback coming around.  Instead, I kept the ball and the biggest, baddest, ugliest defensive end hit me so hard that my helmet turned sideways (yes that means I was looking out of the ear hole!).  Coach came into the huddle, instructed me on what I did wrong, and said “run it again.”  We ran the play again.  I did the same thing.  This time, the wind was knocked out of me and I lay on the ground.  Coach came over me, looked down, and said “run it again.”  I pulled myself together, ran the play…same behavior, same results.  Coach actually came out into the field, yelling, and took the ball and actually demonstrated what he wanted…grabbing the other team’s defensive end to act it out with him…”run it again.”  Finally, on the 4th try, with a bloody nose, I faked running it, drew the ugly guy in towards me, BUT pitched the ball to the halfback…a touchdown…go figure.  Coach came running onto the field, screaming like a wild man for everyone to see, “That’s the way Ronnie, that’s how that play is supposed to be run!”  Coach Bagley coached me to be a winner.

·     A previous boss, Steve: I worked for a guy named Steve; a straight shooter who enjoyed winning as a team.  When times were good, he taught me how to run a P&L.  Not just the textbook stuff, but the real-world, street-smart stuff too.  And, he taught me to care about my people.  He would always ask, “How is so-and-so doing”.  He really cared.  But when times got tough, and the economy turned for the worse, I was able to survive.  Steve would say to me, “you can tell how good you are if you can be successful in this economy!”  What he taught me enabled me and our team to not only survive, but actually excel, during the worse downturn any of us had seen up until that time.  Steve was tough…but he was fair.  And, he cared!  Steve taught me to be an overcomer.

·    Tom Paterson: Tom taught me how to do a LifePlan for another person.  He had facilitated thousands of them.  But, more importantly, what I learned and observed in his life was a message that screamed at me louder than the teaching.  The pain that Tom had to endure in his lifetime, with the death of his wife and child, was unbearable for me to even hear as Tom told his story.  But, Tom somehow was able to channel this pain into a message of surrender, letting God take control.  To this day, Tom represents the epitome of surrender in a life.  Tom showed me how to release control.

I’m sure many of you have similar touch points with great people along your path.  Reflect on them and consider this:

* Seek out other mentors and coaches that can help you in your stage of life.

* Look to be a mentor or coach to someone else.  There are thirsty people all around you!

Some questions for you to consider:

·    What attributes made your heroes great in your eyes?

·    If you look closer, are there those around you who could benefit from your wisdom and experience?

·    Do you have a mentor in place in your life?  If not, why not?